Live Honestly & Love Genuinely - Life & Relationships

Life is hard, everyone has their stories, and everyone has their own unique struggles.  But sadly, one of the hardest things in life is finding real people, finding good genuine people in life to share it with.  I think it happens when people get competitive, jealous, and totally forget that we are in this life together.  Too often it becomes like a game, with rules and ways to be with each other.  It's really quite simple, at least it should be - just be honest and kind hearted.  We all can live together, help each other, while all leading separate lives.  Most of us mean well, but too many want to get ahead of the other by all means.  Too many people only see their side of things.  Too many people live lies.  Marriages and friendships are full of lies, and many even lies to themselves.  If you have made it to this point in your life where you have realized this and want to change things, it's never too late.  For a while and still quite often, I fear good people don't exist.  The Internet in particular scares me, and the relationships in person don't help either.  But despite some occasional fears, I do believe there are good people out there.  I really hope so...


If you are in a bad relationship of any kind, don't be afraid to close bad doors to open better ones.  If you are lying to yourself, to the people around you, change it - start today.  Living honestly, and loving genuinely, it could be the best things for you to get the most out of this one life you have to live.  There's nothing like life's challenges to weed out friends, and true family that will come through in your time of need.  Although I'm upset at the way life cornered me, I realized it was so I can find better people in my life.  It was so I can see who would give me the same love, I give them.  It was so I can find good people, real people, and not waste my days on people who would look the other way the second I needed them.

Real friends and family should want to help you without wanting or gaining anything in return.  They should want to know about you, and be in your life - care about you unconditionally.  All of it just the way you are towards them.

If you have friends and family but still feel lonely, take a moment to look at the relationships you keep.  Why do you feel this way?  What's causing you to feel this way?  You might be surprised to find that you might be feeling down because of the same people you call friends and family.  Sometimes some relationships just don't work.  For years I had people I considered close to me treat me bad, and I was in full denial.  They were kind to other people so I questioned myself, and not them.  I was put down often, and talked down to but I didn't see it because I *thought* and considered them family.  Take a step back, and evaluate your relationships.  You have one life to live.  I read a quote a long time ago, and it stuck with me, even though I never really listened to it.  It was "better to be alone, than with bad company", being with bad company will give you temporary bursts of artificial joy but leave you feeling worse than when you're alone every time.  Better to go and find better company, than bad company for sure!  

Now if you're reading this and you've lost friendships.  Think about why you may have.  Did you take the person for granted?  How much of yourself did you give for this friendship?  When you had talks, did you do the talking or listening?  I've had far too many relationships in my life where I was always the listener, and never the talker.  It was never mutual, I was always taking care of people.  I've had to let go of friends where it was just draining me to have them as "friends", I'd get long phone calls, where we'd hang up and I realize I never spoke about me or my problems.  It was always about them, always about their problems.  Most times, they'd forget to ask.  I'm sure they meant well, and didn't realize..or so I say each and every time.  It took me having children of my own to not have time for it anymore, and see those "friendships" for what it was.  Do you have friendships like this?  I know my friends didn't mean to be the way they were, but it just was.  I know my friends meant well, but for us it was too late to change the dynamics of our friendship that was structured wrong for too long.  It has to be seen from both sides of the relationship to get fixed.    

As a parent, my world is my family.  My kids are my priority, no matter what.  I've had to end relationships that were so toxic to me personally for a number of reasons.  My life is unique and some people couldn't accommodate, so many took the easy way out by walking out the door when I needed them the most.  Some stuck around but only drained me of all I had left.  Many don't see my kids when they think of me, and still see me by myself - unfortunately they are wrong, I am no longer just me, I represent my children as well.  If my children are not a concern to you, then a huge part of me doesn't concern you.  Some friendships just outgrow each other, and that's okay.  

It has taken many years to force myself to make changes, and see people for who they were in my life.  No one should live their lives giving so much love and energy without ever getting the same in return.  I used to explain myself, write long messages, make excuses on peoples behalves, until one day I just had enough.  It was a like a light switch, I was done.

What changes are you making in your relationships lately?  Care to share?  Don't waste this one short life you have to live on people who don't deserve your time, and make sure you are treating everyone in your life right too.  Don't be over sensitive or too quick to conclusions as well.  Respect each other's lives, and understand everyone lives & lovely differently.