"It's Weird That You Never Have Time"

minecraft cake, fondant cake, blockheads cake, food allergy friendly fondant
parenthood pushes you past your limits
first time experimenting with fondant
challenging myself to what I thought was impossible 4-5 years back
"It's weird that you never have time."

That's what my son said to me this weekend.  I asked him "time for what?" he said "everything."  He further explained to me that I'm always busy.  That he never sees me just doing "nothing."  Which got me thinking, and evaluating the way I spend my days.  What do I do that keeps me so busy that I have no time for anything. 

I apologize for not even blogging as much, I mean to pass a day without posting that turns into two, and before I know it, a month flies right by.

So..guys, it turns out homeschooling is lots of work.  I knew that it would be, but if my days weren't busy enough already with two young kids and dealing with food allergies, it really is now.  I am literally  busy from the moment I wake up to the moment I lay down to sleep.  I think the worst part of my days is that unlike a regular job, I don't have much to show for it.  No real paycheck, no clocked in hours, and if you didn't know better it's like I did nothing.  Insert sad face  I know all that I did, but how do I let the world (aka family) know that I'm not just sitting in my PJ's all day with the kids.  (Note: for the most part I've learned not to care, but after all I'm human)  It's sad that they don't get or care to understand how it is living with severe multiple food allergies, but also saddening to hear their discouragement in me homeschooling my son. 

I've already heard "Do you even go outside with the kids?"  Really?  No we never see sunlight.  Really, it's not even worth answering.  The latest bit of awesome support I heard was "So you'll manage to "teach" him now in kindergarten level but as the years go on, you would need to hire someone to teach him..."  Gee!  Thanks for the encouragement.  Maybe a tutor, but why would hiring someone that's following a set curriculum be better than me teaching my child.  I will admit I'm still getting used to homeschooling, and half the time I'm just taking it day by day.  It's a totally new concept to me, but so far I'm loving it, and it's a learning process.  Reading nonstop, connecting with other homeschooling families to understand it more.  I've been living under a rock all this time.  I didn't know about food allergies until my son was diagnosed, and I didn't know much about homeschooling until I needed to home school. 

Not many home school because they have to, many..most do because they want to.  Which is a great fact to keep me in high spirits about homeschooling.  I have to retrain my mind from what's "normal" and really connect with why we send our children to school in the first place.  Not just to send them off to give yourself a break, or hope they pass a class, but so they learn.  I'm still very new, and adjusting so I admit I get jealous (slightly) of parents that say "oh I just noticed all of a sudden he learned to read" because they send their kids off to school.  But stepping back and analyzing my own thoughts, which I've been doing very often, I realize it's nothing to be jealous of. 

Every moment I have that I'm not actually doing something, I find myself reevaluating the day that just past, and the days to come.  What do I have to get done next?  What else do I need to buy?  What should I cook for dinner again..wait how about breakfast, lunch and snacks?  Wait..do the kids need clothes?  Fudge!  Did I pay all the bills this month?  It's all these wonderful mommy thoughts plus now I'm my sons teacher.  I'm just glad that my son really thinks I never have time to just sit, and not that I don't have time for him.  That's a good kind of busy, when you are busy with your own kids right?!  So I end this blog post with I think I can I think I can I think I can...