I've Learned Not to Say "Not Me"

I cut my finger about a week ago.  I sat there with my bowl of mixed greens, some cucumber, chick peas, tomatoes..all prepped as I sat there with the bowl on my lap with a little knife.  Then came time for the avocados, my favorite part of my quick green salads...  I cut it in half, no problem then the side with the pit still in it.  Usually I go around it, and don't fuss with trying to get it out first, but something told me to try taking it out first.  Just like I've seen it demonstrated on T.V.  Of course, I have cut an avocado sooo many times before, but this time I just had to experiment.

The pit was strangely soft, and the knife really sharp (ironically my husband had just sharpened it for me); the knife went through the pit and into my fingerrrrrr...  :(

I squealed a little and ran around the room holding my hand together not knowing if I had cut a finger off.  Luckily it was just a cut on my middle finger that hurt allot and looked scary..to me.  I didn't want to freak my son out so I pretended all was fine, then we went to the ER.  I ended up getting stitches, five of them.  My left middle finger feels all numb still, because apparently I hit a nerve.  Luckily I can still move it, so no permanent damage.  Going to get my stitches out on Friday, in the meantime getting used to doing everything without my middle finger.  The numbness feels so strange I just can't manage to use it, even while I type right now.  I enjoyed less house work the first two days when I couldn't really do much, but that part is back to normal now.

                              So what did I learn from all this?  To never say "not me," I had recently seen something about how common it is for people to cut themselves working with an avocado on T.V, and I really did think "not me" because I had done so many times for so long now.  Another thing I learned was to always get a professional opinion, I was almost not going go to the hospital thinking I might be over reacting.  In the past week I've heard and read stories of people who cut their finger and didn't go get stitches-who now either have a huge scar, or have a horrible story about getting their finger infected while healing.  I was told I probably won't scar at all from my cut that needed five stitches, and the doctor joked that I should be able to 'feel' completely by November, when my baby is born.

So if you make it hear because you cut your finger and deciding what to do, go, go get it checked, better safe than sorry.

Quick Pretzel S'mores - Fun for Kids

My little one has yet to have s'mores but we have made our version of it many times.  Here's one way that works. :)
Pretzels, mini marshmallows, and melted chocolate chips.  I softened it all up in the microwave for a very short time before dipping in melted chocolate.  

Soften up the marshmallows
Dip in chocolate.
Had my son "help" me with these.
Only made few to start, but it didn't even last for a picture. ;) 
*Works just as well, maybe even better if you are going for the full s'mores effect, if you place chocolate pieces inside, over the marshmallows, and place in a toaster oven, until you see it melt and the marshmallow ooze a bit. ;)

-We used allergy friendly alternatives; Glutino Pretzel Twists, Enjoy Life Foods Chocolate Chips, and Kraft-mini marshmallows.  Nothing too fancy, but definitely had lots of fun with my son, plus it was a great salty-sweet treat.

Overcoming My Molar Pregnancy + Some Good News

In February of 2011 I had a due date for my second baby, but that was the pregnancy that failed.  In September, at 16 weeks pregnant, we still couldn't hear the heartbeat so went for another visit.  Only once again my midwife couldn't hear a heartbeat.  We went to another room, for a quick bedside sonogram.  Not thinking anything too bad about it, my husband with my 2 year old at the time in his arms brought out his camera phone to capture us seeing the baby for the first time.  The last thing we even knew to expect was a clear white screen, instead of a baby.  Right away the midwife ran out of the room to get another opinion, and in the same ten minutes we had been told it is a complete molar pregnancy, and scheduled a (D & C) the following week.  In complete shock all I could do was cry.
sample image of "typical" c.molar pregnancy
I went all throughout my first trimester going to every appointment, feeling more pregnant than ever (because of heightened HCG levels), even growing a tiny bump to hear that there was no baby, basically just abnormal tissue growth.  Along with that wonderful news came the risk of cancer associated with molar pregnancies.  I had just told my family that we were expecting, my little guy came to every appointment with me, as everyone asked him how he felt about being a big brother and so on.  I started to plan for another child, and wasn't expecting anything to go wrong.  Then, just like that in a few minutes the ground shook right under us.  The emotions I felt, I still can't fully explain.  It was upsetting, and even though I learned the facts about it, I kept blaming myself.  The rates are 1 in 1000, why why why...  It was a week before the procedure, and I cried my way into it as they rolled me on the bed to the surgery.  I have very low tolerance to medications, it could be a cold medicine but it will make me feel horrible all over.  Well, for the d & c, I was put to sleep and sent home not too long after the procedure.  I felt horribly weak, and my body felt in trembles all day and night after.  So many women go through this procedure, many that I have spoken to and all recover right away- physically.  It took me forever, and my husband and I said we probably won't try for another child again we were so terrified.
My baby about two weeks ago! 
Emotionally I'm still recovering.  I went forever looking at every baby, and every baby bump wishing I could be pregnant, or have that baby that never...  Shortly after, every baby item I had kept, I gave it away.  Little toys, clothes I had kept from my son for the younger sibling, I gave away as well.
It is now that I can share my story, because I am healing.  We really wanted a sibling for our little boy, closer in age, and now we are expecting.  Now slowly healing because I'm 15 weeks pregnant WITH a baby, I made sure with three sonograms already.  In another few weeks we get to find out the sex of the baby.  I'll never be the same as it took me until a week ago to accept that I was pregnant.  I was scared to love the baby because I kept thinking the worst.  I appreciate and love more, but I also fear more and will never think "not me," because it could be.

Sorry I have been MIA for a while now, been going through so much, mostly emotionally, well I guess physically too ;).  But now I feel better sharing the news with you as I try to put the past behind me.