I CAN do it! I can do it right?! ----- I did it!!!

I gave birth to my son four and a half years ago without the help of pain medications, so the plan was always to try that again..even though now that I knew what to expect I was terrified

I started to get contractions Saturday morning, but far enough apart that I still went about my day with my family.  I still felt like I would never go into labor, and still wasn't sure how it would happen.  After a long day at a shopping center, and spending what felt like hours in the Apple store trying to figure out issues I was having with my MacBook the contractions only got closer and stronger, but again still bearable.  While we were grabbing dinner at Whole Foods that evening, I realized the contractions got really intense and I suddenly had no appetite.  I sat there with my eyes closed, and a slight frown as I prepared for any more contractions.  It took one more strong contraction to realize we needed to get home, and possibly prepare for going into real labor soon.

By the time we arrived home the contractions continued to come, but with no real rhythm yet so we stayed put.  As the night went on, the contractions were definitely getting stronger and closer so I called my family over to come over..just in case.  My family came over, but nothing seemed to be progressing while everyone was awake so everyone headed to bed.  I on the other hand stayed awake timing contractions, by 8 AM I finally started getting some kind of a pattern, contractions came every ten minutes lasting around a minute until 2 PM..then it all went away.  I called my midwife concerned and confused, exhausted, only to have her tell me "Well if contractions stopped, you aren't in labor yet."  I hung up the phone to finally relax since contractions literally just stopped, only to feel like I hadn't felt my baby girl move in a long while.  Something felt off, maybe I was just tired and really confused, but I was concerned.  Decided to head to the hospital and let them know about my baby's movement. 

When I arrived at the hospital about a half an hour later, my contractions came back but again with no real pattern.  They checked my baby, and after a few routine checks said my water had been ruptured so I had to be admitted for labor and delivery.  After all those hours of contractions, I was only at 2cm dilated.  I had to take pills to get induced, "to help move things along" as they said.  My contractions were already really coming along strong by the time I took the pills only to get more painful.  After hours and hours of contractions coming closer together, and stronger- about every minute.  I screamed when I could for someone to check on how things were coming along.  They checked and at about 8PM I was 7 cm, and they had to break my water as it was holding baby from moving down as they said.  After that things came along insanely fast and painful.  By the way, I did all these hours without any medications to help with the pain so at this point I was screaming and just about dying in pain.  After they had briefed me on my options and the possible side effects, I punked out and decided to stick with no meds like I did with my son.  My baby girl was born at 9:16 PM on Sunday November 18.  I held her in my arms and thought how everything was all worth it and smiled.  Just thinking of that very moment, it's a moment I will always remember.   

Did I mention that before the last hour, I was singing songs the whole time every time contractions came along.  I kept thinking mind over physical pain, and I have to say it helped.  I pictured my little boy singing, and replayed how he did a little happy dance in the morning on the bed when I told him that the baby might come out today.  I even played a little recording of him singing that morning during labor.  I cried, screamed, laughed, and all of the above as I said over and over again that "I can do it!" followed by "I could do it right?!"

Second time around was very different, they weren't kidding when they said "every pregnancy is different" because everything was different and very special in it's own way.  Tonight I am up watching the sun come up for the third week since her birth, a happy mom of two little blessings.  I am sleepless, tired and very much exhausted but can't help but smile.  Pregnancy isn't easy, giving birth is far from it, and raising our children can be challenging but in the end- all worth it...  I am so unbelievably in love with my little family, and enjoying every MOMent of it!  <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">