Sunday, August 21, 2011

Why I'm a Stay-at-Home Mom

I have been questioned as to why I am a stay at home mom before, I am because the risk out ways the loss of whatever I might earn financially.  We don't know anyone that has food allergies that are near us, that we actually physically know.  We have family that loves him very much, but nobody that really cares to learn what he is allergic to.  My husband and I have never had time to ourselves together.  We seriously have no one that can care for him.  Maybe as he gets older, but if people aren't confident in caring for him, then how could we take that risk.

So everywhere we go, we go together as a family, and if it isn't kid friendly, most times I stay home with my little one.  I know many parents couldn't imagine how this could be, but this is how our life is and what seems to be the only option.

As time to ourselves is important, it isn't an option, or at least a risk we aren't willing to take.  My mom passed away towards the end of my high school years, my dad remarried.  Point being grandparents aren't an option for babysitters for many reasons.  So we make the best of what we have, and I do enjoy my time with my son.  It's a tough situation, one that is hard to understand if you aren't in our shoes.  Every time we visited family my son used to break out in hives, and get an asthma attack where he would start wheezing if we stayed too long.  Luckily for now, that has improved.

I remember on his second birthday party he was running around with his eyes very much swollen with hives all over, and no one noticed?!  It was so strange that no one noticed, but they just didn't.  I didn't look for attention, I took care of him.  On his third birthday party a few weeks back, as fun as it was as I posted about it here, it didn't pass without an allergy incident.  He got really hot at the park started scratching, and got mysterious hives all over.  And in all this, there we are stripping our sons clothes off wiping him down, putting anti-itch cream, giving him Benadryl, all while our baby boy was crying.  I knew he didn't eat anything that caused this, it was just the heat...  What did everyone do?  They looked over, and simply asked "what happened?"  They genuinely didn't see it as a big deal, or realize what was going on.  I was so sad to see this, our closest family and friends can't figure out that it is an allergic reaction?!  No concern either!?  Another fantastic reason why I will not be dropping my son off anywhere so I can get time to myself or time with my husband.

When my son starts coughing or wheezing because of his asthma, or a hive appears anywhere on his body, I notice.  I am the one that knows how to create dishes for him so he isn't left out wherever we are.  I am not saying our friends and family don't love him, but they just don't understand.  I don't depend on anyone for this reason, my little boy is our responsibility.

So many of you are very fortunate to have someone to help, actually many of you are fortunate that your little one doesn't have food allergies.  Be sure to thank the ones that help you out.  :)

I can keep going on about the many reasons why I'm a stay at home mom, all really revolving around keeping my son alive.  The fact is food allergies is life threatening!  That scares me.

My son has food allergies to wheat, rye, millet, oat, banana, onion, garlic, dairy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, shellfish, sweet potato, and maybe more all that are life threatening.

5 comments:

  1. I have received comments back about this post, and I wanted to address peoples concerns. I know that we have other options like finding a sitter, and training someone etc. We just haven't chose that route yet. I am not complaining, or crying out for help. This isn't me asking for options, this is simply me saying what is, and how it is. I do appreciate everyone who takes time to give me their opinions. Thank you.

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  2. I say thank you for writing this post. My son doesn't have allgergies, but being autistic it is really hard for me to just drop him off somewhere. It takes a amazing strong person to make the right decisions sometimes. I think you are a strong person

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  3. hi i'm sorry to hear that your son has such bad food allergies :( my girl has eczema and skin allergies too but nothing like what your son is going through...

    stay strong and you don't have to justify anything to anyone. being a mother alone is reason enough to be there whenever your kid needs you :) *hugs*

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  4. My baby doesn't have any food allergies that I know of yet. But I understand your concern with leaving him with anyone else. My baby girl was very sick 3 weeks after she was born. It was life threatening as well. We recently moved across country away from family and friends. I miss their support. Today was the first day I left my baby with a stranger (the nursery at church). It was scary for me, but she did great. I hope your son grows out of his allergies. And I hope you find someone you can trust to help you when you need it. :)

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  5. Thank you all for your kind words..it's well appreciated :).

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